HOLLINGSWORTH GREEN  SOCIETY FOR DALLIANCE

Join raven haired beauties of more than a certain age for elegant evenings under the magnolia trees. Cocktail hours are followed by titillating black tie dinners where you will feast upon Welsh Rarebit or Salisbury Steak paired with the highest quality wines; the denouement (well almost) baked Alaska or Lemon Meringue pie.  Despite the not-so-occasional occurrence of dementia, as in "who are you?" and "how did I get here?", and/or incontinence, which our discreet staff handles with utmost care, you are guaranteed in flagrante delicato in either a private or group setting.

Qualifications for exclusive membership include:

• Male
• Age 18 (no jailbait please) and above
• Hair
• Must possess most of your teeth (dentures are fine)
• Azure blue eyes preferred
• Striking fingers are to your advantage
• Wing Wang appealing in both form and function
• Pot belly resembling late stage pregnancy a plus

Membership benefits include:

• Lifetime membership
• No fees, monthly or annual dues.  Upon acceptance, membership is sponsored by a raven haired beauty.
• Cocktail hours under the magnolia trees with Perfect Manhattans, Rusty Nails, Stingers and James Bond Martinis.
• All the medicinal marijuana you can smoke
• Fine dining paired with your choice of superior wine.  We pride ourselves on being the first club of our kind to ban the box. Selections include,  but are not limited to: Blue Nun, Four Roses, Mateus, and only the finest white Zinfandel.  Manischewitz  available upon request.
• Parlor games include Backgammon, Dominos, Charades, Chinese Checkers, Trivial Pursuit, Taboo, Texas Hold em, Chess, MahJong, Bridge and Strip Poker. 
• All club functions provide ample and luxurious accommodation for extended sessions of, depending on the member's preferences, group and/or private dalliances with a bevy of beauties  of more than a certain age.